Have you ever noticed that when people say they need A in order to be B, it is the other way round: they need B in order to have A because when they have B, A is a natural consequence of B or a non-issue? For example, somebody may think they need a job in order to have income, recognition and meaningful relationships. Let me ask you this: when you have income, recognition and meaningful relationships, is finding a job difficult, or would you even need one?
Isn‘t the smart thing to do to consider all the things a job is supposed to give you, such as income, recognition, relationships, etc. and to go about bringing in these things into your life? You may find that when you have all these things, the job comes with them or becomes a non-issue. Or do you think there is no way to have income, recognition and meaningful relationships without a job? Really? I encourage you to reconsider this and to consider all other sources of the goodies you need in your life! Where to look, you may ask. Well, having a lifetime of experiences means you already have or have had the goodies, otherwise you:
– would not know what you are talking about, hence cannot go after it
– would not have made it so far in the first place
Both options are improbable for someone who has made it past their childhood. So, how about putting your focus of attention not on what is missing from your life right now, but on the where and when it is NOT or has not been missing?
Your focus of attention is a valuable resource and when you shift it to a place where the problem is not or cannot be, you are in the realm of the solutions. That‘s right: where the problem is not, the solutions are and where the solutions are, the problem is not! You don‘t need to know what the solution to your problem is, all you need to do is to get your focus of attention unstuck from the problem. In fact, hooking your focus on a perceived solution is what created the problem in the first place. Your problem is a perceived solution you have committed to! How to get unstuck? By shifting the focus to everything that is not that! Notice how the proportions of the problem change once you have stopped reinforcing it!
Try this for yourself! Let‘s take the idea of having a job! What is it a job can give you? I am guessing income is one of the top answers but is it the only one, or even the main one? Are you ready to do anything for a bit of money and how do you call such people who are? Do you want to be this kind of person? Who do you want to be or become instead? What are all the ways in which you already are this person? What are all the ways in which you can become? When you are this amazing person with an amazing life, is getting a job still a problem? Is it possible that this problem has resolved itself in the process of you becoming this amazing person?! Really consider this fully and tell me how it goes!
© Teodora Rudolph. All rights reserved 2019, Zurich, Switzerland
Picture by A. Bogomazov (1880-1930)